My First Kiss
by mrscullenxo5
Summary: "I couldn't tell you how we met, or if I instantly fell in love. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or if our hands sparked the first time that we touched." Will Bella ever get over her first kiss? Inspired from 'All Your Life' by The Band Perry.
1. Her First Everything

**My first lemon! Be gentle! Any reviews would bring tears to my eyes. **

**DISCLAIMER: SM's characters, my plot, blah, blah, blah. **

**Full Summary: "I couldn't tell you how we met, or if I instantly fell in love. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or if our hands sparked the first time that we touched." Will Bella ever get over her first kiss? What if things get in the way of her and her soulmate? The story of all Bella's firsts. **

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><p>Edward Cullen was my breaking point. How you may ask? Well, let's start from the beginning…<p>

When I was two years old I met Edward, and he was three. I couldn't tell you how we met, or if I instantly fell in love. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or if our hands sparked the first time that we touched. To be honest, I don't remember not knowing Edward.

Our parents were quick friends and when we were baptized; our respective parents became the other's godparents. Carlisle and Esme loved me as their own. I would spend countless days at the Cullen's house. I would even have sleepovers, and sleep in the same bed as Edward.

From a young age I would walk around and tell people that I was going to become Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen. I believed it whole-heartedly. I couldn't tell if his lack of reaction was because he didn't agree or if it was because he was shy.

My parents ended up moving to Port Angeles while Edward's family stayed in Forks.

We would visit almost every weekend, but then it turned into every couple of months to seeing each other a few times a year, during birthdays and such.

I had several crushes through the years. There was Mike in elementary school, and Eric in middle school. I could go into detail about the few times that I saw Edward threw the years, but the story doesn't really begin until the summer before high school.

I still had this huge crush on Edward, but I wouldn't remember how huge until I saw him. He never had an awkward stage like I did in the second grade. He was always beautiful.

I remember the day because it was life changing. It was two days before high school started. Edward finally saw me in a different light; a good light.

I heard him tell his mom that he never realized how beautiful I was while I was listening in at the door. However, this was right after we had gone swimming and he had seen that I definitely wasn't a little girl anymore.

I knew that he had kissed other girls, but if I was being honest, I knew that I was waiting for him to be my first kiss. I knew that I wouldn't feel comfortable unless it was with him. I also knew that I didn't want to enter high school never having kissed anyone.

After I totally kicked his ass in pool, I sat on the pool table in their basement. We were totally alone. We both knew what was going to happen.

"You know I've never kissed someone before."

"Really?" he asked amazedly.

"Well I'm sure I've pecked a few people before, but not with…"

"Not with tongue."

I shivered and nodded as I saw him lick his lips. He put his hands on the side of me, resting on the pool table's ledge. He started leaning in and said, "It will be okay."

I didn't know what to think because suddenly his lips were on mine. I let out a gasp of surprised and enjoyed the moment. I was mentally screaming, "I'M KISSING EDWARD CULLEN! FINALLY!"

It was pure bliss. I was shocked by the foreign feeling of his tongue in my mouth, but it felt so good that I just wanted to keep going. He broke away first, and I could tell my lips were still forming a pout. He chuckled and gave me another peck.

"I'm glad I was your first kiss Bella."

"Me too."

On the ride home, I felt a little guilty and dirty. I kept reprimanding myself for not being responsive enough to run my finger through his messy bronze or to run my hands over his broad shoulders. I wished to live that moment over and over, and it was all I thought about for months.

That December I started crushing on Jacob Black. He was a year older, just like Edward. I never imagined that he would give me the time of day. We dated for about a month. He broke up with me because I wouldn't kiss him at school. I guess he thought I was a prude. He started dating Leah a few weeks later and from what I heard they had sex immediately.

Edward wasn't on my mind. I was so desperate to make Jake jealous that I made out with one of his best friends Seth right in front of him. There was no response. He started to make out with his girlfriend too. Then Seth started liking me, and I didn't want to go down that road.

At an end of the year party I was bored and made out with Tyler. I wish I hadn't. He bit me.

During my sophomore year in high school I was becoming restless. I wanted to be with somebody so bad, but there weren't many options at my school. I discovered internet porn, and relieved myself about once a day right before bed. What? It made me go to sleep easier.

Then one night I dreamt about Edward and his piercing green eyes. I decided to text him, and within the week we had planned to hang out. My parents went with me to his house. At this point Renee knew of my feelings somewhat, but surprisingly, she never said anything embarrassing.

Edward and I found ourselves alone in the basement again. I was sitting on the pool table again, and we talked for a long time. I don't know why we talked for so long because I just wanted to get to the good stuff.

Then it started. We started attacking each other. We rarely came up for air. When my lips left his it was to kiss and suck on his neck. When I heard him moan for the first time, it spurred something inside of me. I thrusted my hips against his, and tried to wrap my legs around his waist. When he started sucking on my neck I thought I would combust. We heard our names called from upstairs, and pulled apart slowly. We were panting heavily, and I didn't want to leave.

When we made it up the stairs my mom asked why my make up was smudged. I could have killed him for not telling me. He gave an arrogant chuckle, and I told her I got teary eyed because we had been talking about old times. He just nodded like an idiot with a smirk on his face.

We talked a little bit the next few months, but not a lot. I would occasionally day dream about him. It wasn't until Valentine's Day, that things started heating up again. He asked me to be his Valentine, and we went out on our first date.

We decided to be cliché and go to the movies. We held hands at first, but then he wanted to wrap his arm around me. I wasn't very comfortable to be honest, but I didn't say anything because Edward was holding me. I felt safe and at home. I didn't feel sparks when I touched him like people talked about. I felt nervous when he was in the same room, but never really calm until we were touching in some way.

He dropped me off. I don't know why I was suddenly shy, but I gave him a quick peck and ran into the house.

We only talked sporadically again through the next few months. But then, it was June. It was my birthday. I was only having a few friends go out together, but I invited him. He was always the only boy at a Barbie party, while I was the only girl at a Star Wars party.

Dinner was great and he stayed till three o'clock in the morning. I told him I would "walk him to his car" and my friends told me to have fun.

I blushed a deep red at my obvious intentions. We stayed on the porch for a while and talked some more. Then I realized he was about to leave. I looked down at the present that he had given me for my sixteenth birthday. It was a handmade bracelet that had "Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen" spelled out in beaded letters.

"Why so sad?" he asked.

"I just don't want you to go." I almost let out a cry.

"We will see each other soon."

"No we won't."

"Why not?"

"Because. We always do this. We talk for a little bit, and then we won't see each other for months. I hate it."

"It won't happen this time," he said.

"How do you know?"

"We won't let it."

Then we were kissing again. That so familiar feeling that I could never get enough of. I wanted more. I wanted him to lift me and pin me against the wall. I wanted him to grind me into oblivion. However, he was the one against the wall. He grabbed a handful of my ass while I sucked on his neck. I just wanted to keep going, but as always he pulled away, and I watched him get into his Volvo and drive away.

I was right. We did go months without seeing each other again. We talked a little bit but not a lot. He got a temporary job at a carnival in October that was in between our two towns. I went to surprise him at work, but he of course had that day off.

It was coming on November and I knew I would be seeing him for his birthday. We were texting a lot that week. It was my junior year and his senior of high school. I really wanted to try and have a relationship with him before he left for college. I didn't want to say that I never tried to be with him. I told him my feelings two days before his birthday.

_I like you_

**Do you like me like me?**

_What are we? In second grade? Yes I like you like you. _

**You don't know how happy that makes me. I can't stop smiling. **

The next few days we talked about being together. I thought that we would be official on his birthday. He came over to my house and took me out to breakfast. I paid. It was the least I could do since it was his birthday. We chatted and even went to the park. He pushed me on the swings and caught me as I came down the slide. Then we went back to the house. He had never seen my room before, and my parents weren't home.

I had cleaned up just in case. I figured something would happen. I wanted something to happen. I even thought that maybe I would lose my virginity. I wanted him so bad.

However, I restrained, and gave him a peck on the mouth as he left and that was it. I was going to work, and then going to his house after to meet up with my parents.

I checked Facebook as I was getting ready for work. And that's when I saw it. The seven words that would shatter my heart. A blonde with big boobs name Tanya posted on his wall, "Happy Birthday to the Best Boyfriend Eva! ;) 3"

I didn't cry. I just texted him and said, _Your girlfriend seems pretty._

There was no reply. I felt so embarrassed. He said he wanted to be with me. I didn't know what I did wrong. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was finally going to get everything that I wanted, but he led me on. The worst part was that she was actually pretty. When Jake left, I knew he just left for sex because Leah looked like a Gorilla. But Tanya was actually pretty.

When I went over to his house later, he was hanging out with his boys Emmett and Jasper. He didn't say anything to me.

They wanted to go get a lottery ticket because Edward was finally eighteen. When we got to the gas station, he didn't end up winning anything. We went to get back in the car. He always gets my door. And I mean _always. _He reached to get it, but hesitated. It was more awkward that he didn't get it, but I grabbed it and slammed it closed myself.

I let it fester the next few days and I became really angry. I decided to text him.

_I know I didn't say anything earlier because it was your birthday, but I just want you to know that I'm really pissed. _

**Why? **I knew he would play dumb.

_You said that I didn't have any competition and that I was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen. But you have a girlfriend. _

**I'm just confused. I want to be with you, but I can't. **

It turned out that Edward wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted to fuck a bunch of people, but wanted to settle down with me _eventually. _

Well what if I didn't want to be the type that guys want to marry? What if I wanted to be fucked into oblivion, and moan like a whore?

I was mourning. I wasn't just mourning the loss of a possible relationship. I was mourning the future I had been planning for fourteen years. We were meant to be together! It didn't help that I couldn't stop think about having sex with Edward either. He had big strong arms, and piercing green eyes that would stare into mine lovingly as he took me. I wanted to be marked by him, dammit!

Why didn't he want me? I know that we didn't see each other all the time, but I had finally stated my feelings, and he had liked it! There was no going back; I was irrevocably in love with Edward. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. Now, I wasn't for stealing, but Tanya stole first. I was going to reclaim what was rightfully mine. If I wanted it bad enough, Edward could never say no to me.

Sure I may have seemed desperate, but I couldn't go through life without having been with him. I wanted him to be my first everything.

After a few weeks of depression, I decided to make my move. I drove over to the Cullen's house and snuck into his room through the window. He looked so peaceful sleeping, but to avoid feeling even more like a stalker than I already did, I gently woke him up.

"Bella?" he asked. His voice was groggy.

I had planned on attacking him with my mouth, but sitting in front of him, I couldn't help but start to cry. Silent tears poured down my cheeks, and Edward quickly sat up.

I heard him start to chant, "I can't, I can't," silently. I think it was more to himself than to me.

"Why?" I croaked out. "Why would you do this to me?"

He didn't have a real answer, and so he just repeated sorry over and over again.

It was then that I noticed that he was shirtless. I couldn't stop staring at his chest. He tried to lift my chin to look at him but I wouldn't budge. I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss over his heart. He let out a shuddered breath.

"I thought this was mine," I said keeping my head near his chest. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes.

"It will be forever."

"But I want it now."

I gave his heart another kiss, but then I started kissing all over. I couldn't get enough of him.

He let out a moan as he said my name. "You should stop."

"Then make me."

I placed an open mouthed kiss to the place where his neck and shoulder met. "I can't."

I smiled a small smile. It was as I could do in my situation. I was going to get what I wanted, but would it be worth it?

When my lips connected with his, I knew the answer. Being with Edward would always be worth it.

He grabbed my head and held my face to his. Like I would ever pull away…

I started kissing down his body, and I could tell he was getting excited. When I got to his boxers, I looked up, and saw that his eyes were lidded. I rolled his boxers down. My eyes would have widened at his size, but I expected it. The boy was six and a half feet tall, and had hands that completely encompassed mine, so he was large, but perfectly proportioned.

I had always thought that the idea of oral sex was disgusting. I mean, they pee from the same hole. However, looking at Edward's lower region, I knew that I wanted to lick him like a lollipop. So I did…

I started with a small lick of the tip, and then blew cold air on him. He shuddered, and I was anxious to continue. I started from the base this time, and did a long lick upwards.

His moan went straight to my core making me instantly wet. I put my whole mouth around him now. He cursed, but I kept going. I sucked continuously, and hollowed out my cheeks occasionally for more suction. I knew he was about to come, so I tried to fit as much of him in my mouth as I could. I was going to take everything that he gave me tonight. He tried, to pull me off, because he knew this was the first time that I had done this. Instead, I squeezed his ass tighter with one hand, and massaged his balls with the other until hot liquid had seized going down my throat, while he said my name mixed with other curse words.

I released him with a pop, and whipped my mouth with my hands. Before I could even think another thought, I was flipped and on my back.

"You're so damn sexy." _Then why didn't you pick me?_ I thought.

I was completely naked now, and he had my left nipple in his mouth. I arched my back into his mouth and let out a porn star moan. He started to play with my other nipple, and let out a chuckle.

"You have a birthmark on your nipple."

I felt a bit self conscious. How does one respond to that? He grabbed my face, and placed a peck on my lips.

"I like it."

I didn't think I would be able to blush after what I had just done to him, but I was very appreciative of his compliment. Then his lips made a similar descent that mine made on his body. I tensed a bit. I trimmed, but I wasn't completely bare. What if that freaked him out? What if I tasted weird?

I didn't have time to question anything for very long because he touched me and we both moaned.

He put his head near my nether regions and mumbled something along the lines of, "So wet."

I responded with, "Only for you."

I could see him cringe. I realized my mistake. He obviously wasn't only hard for me, but I was just speaking the truth.

He didn't let my comment deter him though. He quickly latched onto my clit, and I let out a squeal of surprise. "So good," he mumbled around my pussy.

I ran my fingers through his locks, and before long I was thrusting my hips into his face.

I didn't care if I seemed like a whore. I couldn't get enough of his talented mouth.

"Edward, Edward."

It seems like my vocabulary is limited to just his name now. Well that, and noises that sounded like I was choking. I think he could tell I was going to scream because as one hand vigorously played with my insides; the other reached up to cover my mouth.

Before I finished, his finger slipped into my mouth. I sucked hard on it, but when the most intense orgasm of my life hit, I couldn't help but bite it.

I could tell it hurt Edward, but he just kept licking me like I was water in the Sahara until the oasis was completely dry.

I was shaking, and Edward leaned up to give me a soft kiss.

His naked body was hovered over mine, and he was caressing my cheek.

I grabbed his cock, and lined it up with my entrance. "Are you sure?"

I was always sure with Edward, even if he wasn't sure with me.

I nodded my head, and he slipped inside me.

That wasn't so bad.

"I'm only a quarter of the way in." I guess I said that out loud.

"Just tell me to stop and I will," like I would ever do that.

"Just do it."

He pushed all the way into me, and it felt like I was burning. I quickly pulled his face to my neck so that he would kiss me there and not see my tears. I was in the most pain that I had ever been in.

"Move," I croaked out. I wanted him to do anything to make the pain subside.

Suddenly the slow burn of pain, turned into a slow burn of pleasure. The foreign feeling of having him inside me was overwhelming. I knew if I told him to go faster that I would be sore for weeks, but the masochist in me begged for it.

"More."

"Are you sure?"

"Faster!"

Our quiet moans filled the room.

"Edward…."

"I'm close Bella, are you gonna come with me?"

"Almost, Edward."

"You're so fucking hot…" he trailed off.

Our hips were meeting at each thrust, and he was rubbing my clit with abandon. He wanted me to come with him, and that we did. We came at the same time, and when I nearly screamed his name, his lips crashed down on mine.

We both rode out our orgasms. I was spent, and Edward laid his head on my breasts. His unruly hair was crazier than usual, and was tickling my chin.

I spent a minute enjoying the moment, but then I remembered what brought me here. I lightly pushed him off of me, and began getting dressed.

He pouted. He didn't seem at all concerned about his actions. Then I turned toward him.

"Me or her," I challenged.

"I…" he stuttered.

"Not quick enough," I said as I hopped out his window.

"Wait!" he nearly shouted. "What can I do to prove it to you?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out…" I said as I swayed my hips back toward my car with as much dignity as I could muster.

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><p><strong>What do you think? If I get enough interest, I may continue, but for now this will be a one-shot. REVIEW :)<strong>


	2. Her Attempts

**I was so excited each time my email told me another person favorited this story. I ran around telling all my friends, but they didn't understand...**

**I will be posting one more chapter if you want to put this story on alert. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns! I own plot (literally, mostly based on a true story...)**

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><p>Well, it's official. I am no longer a virgin. I would jump up and down for joy, but I'm not really walking strait at the moment. Edward Cullen definitely left his mark.<p>

It wasn't until I got home that I noticed the blood had leaked into my underwear; an official stain as a reminder of my cherry popping session. With the blood came a wave of disappointment. I lost my virginity to someone who wasn't mine. Sure, I was his, but he wasn't mine. I still couldn't find it in me to regret it completely. I had felt whole and at home. Well, after the intense burning that is.

And guess what the best part is. The guy who "wanted to prove" something to me, never texted me once for a whole month. I had expected it, but I had also been secretly hoping that he would really choose me. He was also still together with Tanya. Her perfect face constantly wrote endearing messages on "The Best Boyfriend Eva's" wall. He obviously didn't tell her that he cheated on her. I wonder if she even knew that I existed at all.

I thought about Edward more than usual, and that is saying something. I also thought about Tanya. Nobody knew about my secret obsession. Nobody knew about the dreams I had every night. Some nights they were just Edward, and some nights there were huge confrontations with Tanya.

On Valentine's Day I thought about my date with Edward the previous year. I also thought about Edward having sex with Tanya. I thought about them having sex a lot. I wonder what he does with her, and how it differs from me. They are both beautiful people. Does that make the sex better and more frequent? Where do they have sex? What if they are having sex right now in the same spot that we had sex? I was almost sick at the thought. Of course they have sex in his room; they can't have it in the living room. Esme wouldn't approve. Oh God, what if they have it on the pool table? That is just as sickening as them having it on his bed.

In March baseball season was starting. When our schools played each other I had been forced to attend the game. My mother didn't buy that I was sick. He played an amazing game of course. He was an amazing pitcher. I tried to act uninterested, but it didn't really work. I was so into the game that I discovered signals that he had with the catcher to determine a fast ball from a curve ball.

After the fifth inning he was talking to the coach. I was getting cold and I was huddled into my jacket. He looked like he was concentrating on what the coach was telling him, when suddenly his head shot up. He was looking right in my direction. Then he had the audacity to give me "the smile". You know the one. The smile that is lopsided and made girls drop their panties. The smile that worked on me and probably on Tanya. The nerve of him! I tried to give him my hardest glare, but I'm sure that it came out as a grimace.

The rest of the game was uneventful. My school lost, but I didn't really care. My attention was on the other team's pitcher. He was sweating a lot now. His hair that had been sticking out of his baseball cap was now on full display. He took a sip of water, and even from far away I couldn't help but be mesmerized as he swallowed. He then proceeded to pour the rest of his water all over his head. I felt a rush of wetness into my panties and silently cursed him. Why couldn't I have had an ugly god-brother? I would never be in this situation!

I loitered around for a little bit. My parents had left and were on their way to his house. I told them I just had to say goodbye to a few of my friends, but that wasn't true. Deep down I knew I was waiting for the chance to talk to Edward.

A guy with long blonde hair appeared at my side. He was wearing a Forks High baseball shirt so I figured he was from Edward's team. He was very handsome, but not like Edward. I really need to stop comparing people to him….

"Hey."

"Um hi."

"I noticed you were standing over here alone and thought I would come and introduce myself. I'm James."

"Oh, I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella."

I don't really know the guy, so I don't know if it was nice to meet him yet. I nodded to be polite, and he proceeded to tell me the cheesiest pick up line that I have heard at least a hundred times.

"Did you know Bella means beautiful in Italian?"

"Really?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Heard that one before huh?"

I giggled. "Once or twice."

"I guess I'll have to learn to be more original."

"I guess so," I giggled again.

I haven't felt this light hearted in a while. I knew that nothing would come of me and James, but I've been so depressed for so long that a little attention was very welcoming.

Suddenly an arm was wrapped around my shoulders and a kiss was planted to my cheek.

"Hey Bella," said the familiar voice.

I looked up to see Edward with a slight frown on his face. He stared at James and muttered a hello.

This is one of the things about Edward that makes me mad. First of all, my stomach is overwhelming full of this butterfly feeling and I can't do anything about it. His sweat makes me want to jump on him when I should be repulsed. I want his arm to stay where it is forever. But again, he has a girlfriend. So why is trying to stake his claim on me? And why is he jealous that I was talking to James? If anyone has a right to be jealous it should be me, not him. I gave him a chance, and he didn't do anything about it. We haven't even talked since the incident.

"Oh, how do you know Bella?" James asked.

"We're god siblings. We've been _together _since diapers."

I didn't like the way he said "together"; especially right after he said siblings. It almost made it sound like incest. It was such a contradicting statement. He was labeling us in two different ways just to prove that he had more connections to me than anyone else. I think James picked up on this as well.

"So why haven't I seen your sister at any games before?"

It is so weird hearing the word "sister" in reference to me. I'm an only child, and I definitely have never thought of Edward as a sibling. It was almost disgusting to think about. Sure we have always called each other god siblings, but I'm starting to really hate that term.

"There hasn't really been a chance till now, right babe?"

_Really? _I screamed mentally. He was so annoying. My heart melted at the term of endearment, but my mind scolded him for doing this to me. It isn't fair at all.

I really wanted to get out of this awkward situation. Thankfully James decided to leave and said, "Well I hope to be seeing more of you again then. Hey Edward, say hi to Tanya for me."

As James walked away I got this sick feeling in my stomach now. I heard Edward let out a breath. I had to get away from him before I said something that I would regret. "Well I'll see you at the house," I said as I started walking toward my car.

I was quickly pulled by my arm so I was facing him. I had my back to the wall near the locker room door, and there was little space between us. "I've missed you," he said.

"Really? It doesn't seem that way."

"It should. I always want to be with you."

"Stop saying things like that. You shouldn't lie; it's not nice."

"I'm not lying."

"So you miss me every moment you're with Tanya? She must be awfully boring then."

He winced and said, "Not exactly."

I didn't even want to think about what that meant. "So I'm right, and you're wrong. Let's just forget about it and go back to your house so I can talk to your mother and avoid you and then eventually go home."

"Why are you being this way?"

"Are you serious Edward? Just don't talk to me while you're dating her. I can't handle it anymore."

I hated admitting that, but I had to. I knew his intentions weren't bad. He really thinks that we are going to get married someday. He would never intentionally hurt me. But the fact still remains that he wants to have fun now and come back to me when it's time to settle down. I bet he feels so cocky that he was the one to take me. He probably wants to be the only one to ever have me. I would have let him, but he didn't choose me. I don't know if I can wait like he wants me to.

I hope I didn't sound too depressed as I turned to walk away. I would hate for him to truly understand the effect that he has on me.

However, before I could walk away he gently nudged me back into the wall. His face was hovering over mine dangerously closely. "Bella."

I'm not sure how to describe his voice. It sounded like a cross between a moan of pleasure and a groan of aggravation.

My breath hitched because he was leaning in now and his lips were gently grazing mine. Not exactly touching, but I could feel the buzzing running between us.

"Edward." It was a warning. He knew this couldn't happen. It would devastate me more than I already was. He sighed and took a step back and nodded his head.

"I'll see you at the house," I said as I walked away. I looked back, and he had his head hung down. Just as I was rounding the corner I heard a loud groan and what I assumed was his fist connecting with the wall. I hope he didn't hurt himself too much.

The whole ride to his house I tried desperately to keep the tears out. Only two small ones managed to leak out of my eyes. It probably didn't help that the universe hated me and every radio station was playing a love song.

I pulled into the driveway and there were several cars there. I assumed that it was just going to be a few friends and family. It was just a regular season game after all.

I walked into the house like it was my own. There was a group of familiar faces in the kitchen, and I smiled at my mother. I turned to face Esme when I saw her.

She looked even prettier in person, and my heart broke a little more knowing that she was with the man that I loved.

"Tanya, I don't think that you have met Bella yet. Bella this is Tanya and she is friends with Edward, and Tanya, this is Bella my other child."

I could have kissed Esme. She called me her child and Tanya just a friend. I don't know if she knew about my situation, even my mother didn't know everything.

"I'm surprised that we haven't met sooner. I guess I've just been keeping Edward to myself these past six months."

I smiled, but I'm sure it was a weak one. She hadn't been keeping a close enough eye on him, because he hasn't been completely hers for a few months now. That is when I started doing mental calculations in my head. Six months. They must have been together since October. I figured just as much, but it sounds like such a long time when she said it. They have been together for half a year.

I heard the familiar sound of Edward's car pulling into the driveway. Tanya busted into a huge smile and clapped her hands together. "I can't wait to surprise him!"

She rushed to the door. I knew she wouldn't be this excited if she knew that we had just basically kissed half an hour ago.

I looked out the window while everyone continued talking. She ran up to him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He looked up at the window like he knew I was there. She was placing kisses on his neck, and he looked at me like he was in pain. I stepped away from the window and went to sit on the couch.

I felt someone come in and sit beside me. I was too busy staring at my lap to look up.

"Everything will work itself out. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will."

"I know if I wait, _eventually_ it will work out, but I shouldn't have to wait. I should be more important than someone's second choice."

"I know sweetie, I know," she said as she grabbed my hand.

Suddenly the door busted open and I heard Tanya saying, "I knew I wouldn't make it to your game, but I still wanted to see you so I came here. I only had to wait fifteen minutes before your mother came and let me in."

They walked in holding hands. I stared at their interlocked hands with tears brimming in my eyes. I would not cry. I would not cry.

"It was nice talking to you Esme, but I really should get home and finish a project I have."

Edward looked upset. YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE UPSET DICKHEAD!

Esme could see my distress. "I'm sorry you couldn't stay longer sweetheart. I hope I see you soon." She planted a kiss on my head and I stood up.

"Tell my mom I left."

"I wish you could have stayed longer," Tanya said as I tried to pass them.

"Yeah, bye."

I tried not to sound too rude, but I rushed out of the house. I drove home quickly and lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling until sleep eventually took me.

Now it was the first week of April, and it was spring break. There was going to be a huge costume party at Jessica's house. She is one of my friends from Forks and I don't see her that often, so I'm glad I was invited. My best friend Alice was invited too, so she brought me shopping for costumes.

There wasn't much to choose from, mainly because it was nowhere near Halloween.

Alice and I knew a little secret though. Since the football team in Washington sucked, most of the guys around here didn't cheer for the Redskins. They all seemed to gravitate toward the Cowboys. Alice and I think it has something to do with the cheerleaders, because let's face it; they are the most famous cheerleaders in football.

So that is why Alice and I showed up at Jessica's party as Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. When we walked in every guy was looking at us like we were the hottest thing in the place. I think because of Alice we were.

I knew there was a small chance that Edward could be at this party because it was in Forks. But even if he was, most of the kids from Port Angeles and Forks were here so it was unlikely that I would run into him.

I laughed mentally. If Edward was here we would definitely run into each other. I always know when he is in a room. I would probably trip and fall into his lap because I'm classy like that.

When I was getting ready I wasn't sure if I was dressing up as Edward's fantasy for revenge or if I wanted him to be with me. I feel kind of pathetic that I can't get over him. But this is Edward Cullen, the hottest guy in the world and my kind of childhood sweetheart. I just couldn't help it.

Even though I wasn't wearing much, I surprisingly didn't feel shy, I felt so confident. A few guys asked me to dance, and I did. I was actually letting loose and having fun. I saw James out of the corner of my eye. I don't know why I didn't go talk to him; instead I walked over to Alice and pulled her away from the guy she was talking to without even paying attention.

She began to protest, but then I whispered in her ear, "I need a lady dance."

"But Bella, I was having fun. I don't want to be rude to who I was talking to."

"Whoever you were talking to will probably enjoy the view."

An evil smile took residence on her face and she pulled me close to her and we started grinding our hips together. I loved dancing with Alice. She was fun and we moved well together, and I knew she wouldn't grab my ass. Well, she might, but I wouldn't mind.

She turned around and started to dip down and rub her ass into my crotch. "I hope this gets Jasper going."

Wait. "What?"

"Jasper is the guy I was talking to."

She ran her fingers through her hair and kept dancing. I was frozen in place and she turned around and said, "Bella."

Now Jasper can't be that common of a name. If Jasper was here that must mean…

I looked over to where I pulled Alice from and sure enough he was there. He was leaning against the wall next to Jasper; his eyes were smoldering. I couldn't take my eyes from him.

Alice looked over and saw Edward. "Bella, let's shake it for them."

"I don't know Alice."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy the view," she said quoting me from earlier.

That's when an evil smile came across my face, much like Alice's earlier.

I looked at her and said, "No holding back."

"Never sweets."

We grabbed each other's asses and grinded into each other like there was no tomorrow. When the fast beat song ended, and a slow song followed. We went from relentless ass grabbing to tit gropes and lingering touches. I was a bit taller than Alice so I leaned down to give her a loving kiss on the head. I turned when I did this looking in Edward's direction. He looked pissed. Good. Jasper was holding him back, and he looked like he was about to charge.

I knew it was the liquid courage, because I don't think I would have done it. I didn't have a lot, but it was enough to make me feel brave. I leaned down and gave Alice a peck on the mouth.

"Good idea," she giggled.

We had never kissed before, but we made a pretty good show. We separated and I told her to go get Jasper. He was a pretty great guy.

I had the intense need to pee, so I headed to the bathroom. I felt him behind me before he said anything. He just followed me down the dark hall, and when I reached for the doorknob I was pulled into the wall.

It seems like all of interactions are on a pool table or against a wall. God I'm a whore. Well there was that time on the bed….

"Bella." His eyes were black as he stared down at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said innocently with my big brown doe eyes.

"You were taunting me on purpose weren't you?"

Well, I could never lie to him, "Maybe."

"God," he said.

His hands roamed all over my body, and I let him. I felt kind of dirty at first, but then the pleasure of his touch overwhelmed my senses.

"Edward," I said breathlessly.

He began kissing down my neck. I loved the feeling of his mouth on me. He grinded his obvious erection into me making me moan. He felt so good, like he was made perfectly for me. Of course he wasn't even mine.

I couldn't help but ask. "Where is she?"

"Not here."

"That doesn't make it right."

"It will never be right."

I almost cried. Did he mean us? "What?" I said with a crack in my voice.

He cradled my face and kissed my cheek. "That's not what I meant baby."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I wish things were different, but I don't know what to do."

I thought about his feelings for her for once. He must love her. "If you love her, it isn't enough. I know you have feelings for me. If your feelings for her aren't strong enough to make you monogamous then they aren't strong enough."

Of course the same could be same about his feelings for me.

"She is different."

"I thought I was different."

"You are. You are more special than anyone."

"Obviously not anyone otherwise your decision would be a lot easier."

I tried to walk away but he stopped me.

"Please Bella."

"Please what?"

"Be with me." He eyes were turning green, and they were pleading with me.

"Why?"

"Because I need you."

"That's not enough Edward."

"I'm trying baby."

"To have sex with me in a hallway. As hot as that might be, I don't even mean enough to you to have a bedroom."

"You do."

"And I don't mean enough for you to only be with me."

"It's complicated."

"I don't see how it can be that complicated Edward. I want to be with you more than anything. My feelings won't change. But if you really want me for me, you know what to do."

I was able to walk away this time, but right before I got out of earshot I hear my name.

I turned around. "Yes?"

"Are we still gonna be friends? No matter what happens?"

"Edward, as much as I think it might not ever be enough, it would hurt more to lose you all together."

He almost seemed to perk up. "So is that a yes?"

"Yes. I will always be your friend Edward Cullen."

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><p><strong>Do you think Bella will leave it alone? <strong>

**A/N: All Reviews are loved and cherished! PLEASE! They make me smile :)**


	3. Her Happy Ending

**This is the end. It is a HEA. Some of you may be upset with that, but these characters were so close!**

**I'll be posting a new story soon called 'Put the Light Back in her Eyes' so check it out!**

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><p>As April turned into May I had been spending more time with James. Sure he wasn't my Prince Charming, but Edward wasn't at the moment either.<p>

James and I would only hang out a little bit, but he was always very considerate and kind during all of our encounters. I knew I wasn't being completely fair to James because I wasn't over Edward, but I really wanted to move on.

James had officially asked me to be his girlfriend, and after some hesitance I agreed. He made me laugh and forget about everything. I didn't have to be completely in love to start a high school relationship, so I latched onto the hope that my feelings would eventually grow.

As Alice and Jasper began spending more and more time together, and with me dating James, I was beginning to spend much more time with the Forks baseball team than I ever imagined.

When Edward first found out about James he was livid. He never talked to me about it though; he just gave me the silent treatment. He didn't really have any right to complain anyway.

When it came time for Edward's graduation party, I was a bit nervous. I hadn't seen much of Esme lately, and I didn't know how she would react to my new relationship. I may be pretending that I don't care what Edward thinks, but I would never dream of pretending not to care what my second mother thinks.

The party was crowded with mainly teenagers and a few adults that were close with the family. I stayed by James most of the night. He had always been a bit territorial around Edward, and he was beginning to let his guard down now that Edward would be leaving for college. He would be going to U Dub, and I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for a while. I would probably end up going to college there too because let's face it; where else do you go to college in Washington?

I had snuck away for a bathroom break when I heard fighting. I tried not to eavesdrop, but when I heard Edward's voice I just had to listen.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"What?"

Tanya sounded very shocked. I didn't know that they had been having problems…

"It's just too much to go to different colleges."

I believe Tanya was heading to UCLA to become a "big star". I wonder how she even got into that school; she didn't strike me as the brightest crayon in the box.

"That's not what this is about and you know it."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you're going to break up with me the least you could do is tell me the truth."

"What truth Tanya?"

"That you're pining after somebody else."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't think that I see the way you look at her."

Who the hell are they talking about? Edward needs to seriously get his shit straight. I almost started crying. Not only was I not enough for him to choose over Tanya, but there was someone else too! I guess I would never be enough.

As I turned to walk away I heard something that I never thought I would hear.

"This isn't about Bella."

What?

"It's funny how I didn't mention her name, and you already knew who I was talking about."

"Tanya we haven't been working for a while."

"And it's because of her!"

"No it isn't."

I was permanently glued to my spot now. If there was an earthquake, I would have no idea.

"I realize that we haven't been working and I have tried so hard to fix us, but if I'm going to lose you, I at least want you to be honest. Tell me your feelings for her."

"I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does. You love her and you're pretending to love me, and I want to know why!"

Again; what?

"Fine, I love her."

"Well at least you admitted it. But that still doesn't answer my question."

"She'll never have me."  
>"Why do you say that?"<p>

"Because I fucked up."

"You seem to do that a lot."

"I love her so much, and I didn't follow my instincts. I ran away because I was scared of how strong my feelings were. I didn't want to be tied down at such a young age because I knew that if we ever started dating that that would be it. I would be done with any other women so I ran. I ran to you, and I still couldn't stop my feelings for her, and I'm sorry I didn't love you as much as I should have."

I couldn't hear anymore. I drifted away, and found my way outside. There was a swing set in the back yard that had never been moved from our childhood days. The swings were always my favorite. I loved the way the wind would whip past me the higher I went.

Today I went to sit and sway. I twirled in the swing while I thought about everything I just heard.

Edward Cullen loved me. But maybe he was right; we would definitely be very serious very quickly if we ever dated. And maybe it didn't matter. I had James now. If Edward didn't break up with his girlfriend, then I obviously couldn't be expected to do the same. I wished I could say that those words didn't affect me, but they really did.

I didn't talk to Edward that night. I didn't talk to him for a while actually. Halfway through the summer I broke up with James because he was being too clingy. I never went very far with him either. Maybe I am a prude. Or maybe I'm just a prude for everybody besides Edward.

That whole school year we only texted on holidays when we wished each other well. I didn't date anyone, and I don't know if he did either. I thought about him a lot though. I assume word got back to him eventually about me and James, and I wondered how he felt about that.

When I got my acceptance to U Dub I made sure to tell him and he seemed really excited.

My last summer as a child flew by quickly and then I was moving into my dorms. I never expected for our relationship to pick up so fast, but the day after I moved in, Edward and I were spending everyday together.

After a week, classes were about to start, and there was going to be a huge party to start the new year. I had yet to meet any of his friends, and I was a bit apprehensive because I knew I would be doing so tonight.

I was surprised by how friendly they were. Alec, Thomas and Brett were all really loud and obnoxious, but they were really great. It wasn't until their other friend Tony came around that things got a little awkward.

"So you're Bella?"

"The one and only."

"It's nice to finally meet you; Edward hasn't shut up about you for the past year."

I don't think I could have blushed anymore. Edward glared at Tony.

I never told Edward that I heard about his break up with Tanya, or that I was there when it actually happened. It had been awhile, and I knew he could have changed his mind. Hell he had probably banged half the girls at this party.

"He hasn't even gotten any of the fine ass tail around here cus' he has been waitin for you all this time."

Or maybe not. I was a bit surprised by this statement. Of course this was just hearsay; Edward could have made his rounds quietly. I raised my eyebrow and looked in his direction, and I saw the miracle of a bashful Edward.

This still didn't mean anything. I wouldn't go rushing back to Edward. Our relationship had remained platonic since I had been here, and maybe it should stay that way.

When classes started I became very busy, and couldn't concentrate on Edward anyway. I also was working at a bar as a waitress, so I had very little time for anything. It wasn't until one day in mid October when I was walking home from work that Edward surprised me.

He had called my name from behind me, and when I turned he jogged the rest of the way and spat out quickly, "Will you go on a date with me?"

"What?"

"Will you go on a date with me," he punctuated each word slowly.

"One more time," I was smirking now.

"You know what I said Bella."

"I just need clarification."

"Please Bella? I want to be with you so bad, and I know we will have to do this slowly so I can earn your trust, so will you please go out to dinner with me tomorrow night."

"I suppose I can fit you in."

He smiled his crooked smile for me, and it was so big you would have thought that I had just told him that he won the lottery.

"I'll pick you up at seven."

Maybe I should have made him try a little harder, or beg a little more, but this was Edward.

He was in no way completely off the hook, and I definitely made him work, but I didn't also want to suffer from being apart. Being with Edward was so easy. He already knew so many of my weird little quirks that I would normally have to worry about with somebody else. He found them endearing, and he constantly worshipped me. In the literal and figurative sense.

He did everything for me sexually, insisting that if I was happy than he didn't matter. However with two months of only his finger and mouth on me I was becoming restless. He had only let me give him a hand job, but I wanted to touch him too.

One day we went to the movies, and it was an empty theatre. I couldn't control myself. Even though he protested, as soon as I started giving him a blow job he couldn't resist.

That day he took me back to my dorm room and we had the most needy and ferocious sex I could imagine. I hadn't had sex since the first time with him so I was a bit sore. As we lay tangled together after he whispered that he loved me and I whispered it back to him.

OoOoOoOoO

A few years later he proposed. He had the proposal on the big screen at a Redskins game. We were constantly feuding about football, but they were just fake fights that would get us riled up enough for hot rough sex.

OoOoOoOoO

We got married at sunset on the beach during the summer. There was only close family and friends there but it was perfect.

We ended up getting pregnant on our honeymoon, and nine months later our beautiful baby Elizabeth Marie Cullen was born.

OoOoOoOoO

Ten years later and I was a thirty five year old with two girls and a boy. Elizabeth was the oldest and was constantly in need of attention. She looked just like me, but had her father's dazzling eyes.

Anthony Charles Cullen was my quiet and thoughtful seven year old son, and he was the spitting image of Edward, with crazy hair and my eyes.

And finally was little Emma who was the perfect combination of both of us. She was six and was doing a family tree project for school. This led to her asking a lot of questions about the family. Even after the project was over she wanted to know every little detail about Edward and me.

"When did you and daddy meet?"

"We always knew each other."

"Always?"

"Yup."

"So you have been together forever?"

"No, we weren't together until we were older."

"Why?"

"Because we weren't always mature."

"Why?"

"Sweetie, you should really be getting to bed."

"Will you tell me more tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, night mommy."

"Goodnight my little angel."

When I walked into the living room Elizabeth was still watching TV.

"Baby, it's a school night; you need to get to bed."

"But daddy said I could finish watching this show."

"I don't care what daddy said, it is past your bed time."

"But mom!"

"Don't but mom me."

Just then Edward rounded the corner. His buttoned shirt was wrinkled and the sleeves were pushed up showing his forearms. His hair was sticking up and his hands were dripping a little bit from washing the dishes.

"Daddy!" she whined.

"This is all your fault."

Even though I was a bit flustered from seeing him look so delicious I was still angry and had years of avoiding his charm to make sure I got my point across.

"How?"

"We have a bed time for a reason. I don't know why you would try to change it."

"She wanted to finish her show."

"So? You're the adult; send her to bed."

"Baby," he tried to reason.

"Lizzy, go to bed now!"

She sulked off to bed and I turned on Edward.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You also manage to make me the bad guy! We have rules for a reason."

"Did something happen at work?"

I just rolled my eyes and walked toward our room, turning off the lights on my way. He was so oblivious sometimes.

"I don't know why you're being this way."

"Yes, because it is my fault for following the rules that we set."

"Bella."

"No Edward; I'm sick of you doing this. We have to be a team. They can't think that they can just go to you to get out of doing something."

"Are you sure something didn't happen at work?"

I was so angry. I couldn't believe that he couldn't see why I was mad. I had to throw something, and the closest thing was a pillow. I threw it with all my might for it to fall short just a few inches from his feet. He chuckled and picked it up, "Did you just throw a pillow at me?"

This infuriated me more so I picked up another pillow, walked over to him and hit him upside the head with it while I hissed, "Yes!"

I hit him a few more times, and suddenly the smirk fell off his face, and suddenly the familiar smoldering of his eyes took over. He grabbed my wrists in one hand, making me drop the pillow, and pulled my head to his with the other.

He was not going to distract me this way! I bit his lip hard to try and get him to stop, but it only spurred him on. He moaned into my mouth and then I knew I was a gonner. I grabbed his hair tightly in my hands when he let them free. I felt his hands travel down my body and when they both found my ass I jumped into his arms so he could carry me to bed. He dropped me down roughly and ripped my shirt down the middle.

"Edward! I'm sick of buying new clothes because of you."

Just to demonstrate his control of me, he pulled my legs apart roughly and pulled off my pants quickly before smirking as he ripped my panties from my body.

He touched my center and brought his glistening fingers up to show me. "Really? You don't seem like it."

I moaned. I hated his cockiness, but I loved it at the same time.

"I'm gonna fuck the bitchiness right out of you."

"I'm not being a bitch you dick."

"Mmh, I love it when you talk dirty baby."

I don't know how, but he was suddenly naked and pounding into me.

"Harder!"

"Faster!"

He met each one of my pleas, and soon we went over the edge together.

As we were laying and were both about to fall asleep I told him about Emma's questions.

"I wish we had better things to tell her other than how much of an asshole I was."

"It doesn't matter what you were. All that matters is what you are now."

"Which is what? A pushover husband and father."

I couldn't help but giggle. "Yes."

A few weeks later I noticed that I didn't get my monthly visitor. Then it all started adding up. My mood swings, the tenderness of my breast, my sudden increase in sexual appetite. I didn't have morning sickness, but I only did for Lizzy.

I got a test from the drug store on the way home from work. After I took it I paced until I saw the results. When Edward walked in he took one look at me and I couldn't keep it in.

"I'm pregnant."

He smiled his smile, and I knew our growing family would always be happy.

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><p><strong>Last chance to REVIEW! PLEASE! They make me smile :)<strong>


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